“Love him! I can not imagine life without him, but we are so bored together. And not that before it was like this.
Just at some point I realized – there’s nothing to talk about.
Advise what to do? “- such messages can often be found at forums on the relationship between a man and a woman.
Indeed, even the happiest and strongest couple is not immune from periods of recession when joint pastime is reduced to sitting at computers (each for their own) and indifferent: “How are things at work?”.
But this does not mean at all that people who find themselves in a similar situation need to flinch, put an end to further relationships and seek happiness elsewhere.
To begin with, at least try to breathe life into the frozen connection and make it more vivid.
Most of the “advisors” on the same forums for some reason answer that if in a relationship a bit boredom seemed to appear, they should be immediately terminated. Go away for a while, leave for good – as if only this modern people see a solution to the problem.
On such remarks our grandmothers and mothers usually reply: “Previously, everything was repaired, but now they prefer to buy a new one right away.” And there is some truth in this – is it really necessary to escape from the ship at the first difficulties?
Why not try to overcome them with your loved one, thereby making the relationship even stronger and more trustworthy?
The main thing is to remember that only joint efforts can lead to a positive result: if there is only one floundering and the other sitting and waiting for these floundering to lead to something, then nothing will happen.
Talk to a partner
Start with the fact that you voice your experiences. It sounds strange, but it also happens: one does not find one place from the sensation that something is going wrong, but the other does not notice anything of the kind.
By speaking, you will kill two birds with one stone: tell the beloved of doubts and fears and find out if he feels that the relationship has become frigid. Boredom says that you do not satisfy in the relationship of any of your needs.
It’s not enough to just be aware of them, you need to talk about the needs, not forcing the partner to guess about your hidden desires.
In addition, you should also understand that interest in the needs of a loved one is an important component of harmonious and boring relationships.
Become interesting to yourself
Psychologists are sure that a self-sufficient person who is not bored with himself is much more likely to be interesting to others than he who waits for others to entertain him.
Do something interesting, for example, some kind of hobby. Feel that you are able to enjoy every day, regardless of whether you had a long conversation with your beloved or not.
You yourself will not notice how, after becoming interesting for yourself, cause a lively interest in your partner: a girl with burning eyes and with rapture telling about what dance movements she learned today, will involuntarily draw the attention of her man.
And change the environment around you, but also together. Nothing so helps to breathe life into bored relationships, like the changes that the two started side-by-side with each other.
Stop going to the usual restaurant: let them tastily cook, but you try the cuisine of another institution, and then either be happy that you have discovered something new, or spit and return to a proven place.
Or arrange a reshuffle, but do not quarrel, try to listen to each other’s opinion.
Well, and, finally, if you can afford money and time – give up on vacation. Do not go to Greece for the third time in a row, better visit a country in which have never been, say, Austria or China.
The main principle is to comprehend the new together, share impressions, be surprised and enjoy the moments of unity.
Do not skimp on surprises
Start to take the first steps, leaving a nice note in your jacket pocket or sending a romantic text message when he does not expect it at all. Another good option – eggs in the form of a heart for breakfast.
Will you say it is sweet and childish?
But remember the time when you were well with each other and, most importantly, not bored.
Surely you just started to meet and behave like children. So why not revive this beautiful period of your relationship?
Do not ignore his interests
We discussed this earlier, but now we will analyze this point in more detail.
Let’s say your man is a fan of cycling. A whole weekend goes around the city, calls with him, and you refuse every now and then, wondering afterwards that you have absolutely nothing in common. So why not just try to ride with him once?
Do not like it, but at least everyone of you will know that you have tried. It is very important for a man to understand that there is a reliable support and support in the person of his beloved woman.
In most cases, when the relationship becomes boring, first of all it is worth paying attention to yourself. We are ready to blame the partner, but in fact it is not he who has changed, it has changed our expectations and desires.
We mentally live in a “candy-bouquet period”, whereas in the yard there is a stage of more serious and mature relations.
Look at the situation sensibly, analyze what is happening to you, and take steps to meet your loved one – do not expect that he will do everything for you.