What is the main difference between couples who are in love relationships and stay together for a long time (or even a lifetime) from those that quickly break up?
You can say that the first trite is lucky to meet your soul. But I think that the matter is not at all in luck. The point is the so-called “intimacy”.
I for the first time so actively focus on this concept. What does it really mean for men?
Intimacy as the basis of strong love relationships
Intimacy is not only embraces and kisses during and after sex. Intimacy for a man is also a close emotional contact. It is intimacy, which does not mean only sex. The illusion is that every sex with a woman for a man carries “intimacy”.
True intimacy extends far beyond sexual relations. It is based on a deep personal connection between two people.
Long-term affinity includes the ability to understand one’s partner, accepting it with all the shortcomings and oddities. Simply put, if you chose this man, then he attracted you to something, and you accepted it in him.
When couples say that the reason for their separation was the absence of a “spark” in the relationship, as a rule, they lacked it – the real closeness, behind which is trust, acceptance, admiration and the ability to see the best in each other.
Yes, these simple words are the foundation of this “intimacy” between a man and a woman. If you want your love relationships to be strong and long-term, you’ll have to work hard to shape it.
So, what do you think, what usually prevents the emergence of deep intimacy in the pair? How to start destroying the walls of your shell, because of which the love relationship is held at arm’s length?
So that you do not have to puzzle over these questions, I have prepared several tips based on the experience of conducting hundreds of personal advises from many people.
So, happy couples who create intimacy in their love relationships , achieve this through the following 9 rules.
Fully reveal to your partner
To open or trust a man is often misunderstood as weakness. In fact, everything is not so.
Yes, at this moment you will feel vulnerable. But when you show your partner your vulnerability, it is perceived by them as a manifestation of confidence in him. So you are secretly telling the man what is open to him. And in this case you act like a woman.
If, next to you, it is exactly the “same one”, he will accept you as you are, and will provide all possible support. Even more, he will thank you for such frankness.
Thus, the love relationship rises to a new level, where there is trust, respect and understanding.
Vulnerability is the willingness of the first to say: “I love you,” not hoping for a similar response. It is a decision to invest completely in your heart in a relationship where there are no guarantees. Where you can easily be injured.
Vulnerability is asking for help, telling about your needs and experiences, instead of keeping everything in yourself. It’s to be gentle, weak, to be a girl, a woman.
Play like children
Love relationships , in which game elements are present, have the property of being happy, strong and durable.
“Serious” relationships, which are affected by the 40-hour work week, loans, taxes and other “adult” problems, are more prone to disintegration.
Why does playfulness keep couples together? Maybe because the game takes us back to that carefree time – to childhood, in which there were no problems. The game allows you to relax and stop straining each other.
Strange as it sounds, but when we allow ourselves to be relaxed, we become “real”. We completely focus on the joyful moments. And this brings us together. Makes love relations more intimate.
It does not matter what games you play with your lover: tabletops, with a ball in the outdoors, tennis, role playing in the bedroom. It is important that at this moment you open up before him. And he is in front of you.
This moment of revelation is a mystery, your “secret for two”, which strengthens and, most importantly, prolongs your love relationships .
To be generous
Generosity in a loving relationship shows a willingness to give away just like that, and not for the sake of getting something in return. To give pleasure and happiness to your partner. Believe, a man is pleased with your acceptance of his generosity.
Generosity is also expressed in the willingness to forgive him when he offends you, and sincerely ask for forgiveness when you offend.
Be generous in your love relationships . Give him your confession, admiration, smile, joy. And your man will certainly thank you for it.
Surprise each other
Surprises can breathe life into even the most “withered” relationship . They can create truly magical moments, which become a breath of fresh air for those who are mired in everyday life and have already begun to forget why they live with their partner.
At the very beginning of a love relationship, all meetings, conversations and games in the bedroom are full of wonder. Every day you learn about your partner all new things.
But over time, this light has the property of extinction if you deliberately do not take care of “throwing firewood” at him.
Happy couples even after many years continue to surprise each other. They still enjoy seeing joy and admiration in the eyes of a loved one. And this is one of the factors that keep them together.
Sometimes enough small pleasures are enough. For example, an exquisite dinner (cooked by you!) With candles, a surprise party on his birthday or buying tickets for a football match.
Add a task to surprise your loved one in your weekly check-list and you will be amazed how much it will bring you closer each time.
Allocate time to stay together
Work, everyday issues, raising children, books, TV shows, social networks – all this takes a lot of time. This sprays the attention of partners, especially those that have been together for a long time.
If you are all in work, business, and can not yet abandon them, try to allocate the maximum amount of time and attention to your man. Otherwise, relations can stop.
You can write him some nice sms when you’re at work. Send your beautiful photos. And when you stay close, forever forget about things at work, girlfriends and male colleagues or male friends.
Establish physical contact
Touching has the ability to change mood, express feelings, give pleasure. Is it bad today? Lie down on your lover’s lap, tell me about your experiences or just be quiet while he is stroking your head.
He returned from work extremely excited, dissatisfied with the demands of his boss? Help him to calm down. For example, do a foot massage. Embrace. Kisses.
A chain of similar actions can awaken in you and your partner a completely natural desire to have sex. Passion, which awakens during sex, destroys the walls of misunderstanding.
Appreciate your love for a man
In life, there is a lot of confusion, which can affect the love relationships within the couple.
Imagine that someone about you or your lover can maliciously spread rumors. For example, girlfriends actively gossip that he has a work romance at work. Believe it or not?
Here everyone decides for himself. But think, who do you trust more? Is it worth your risk questioning, to whom you can put your relationship ? Is this a sufficient reason for their destruction? For your happiness you need to fight.
More precisely, it should be appreciated.
And not always there are enemies who try to prevent your happy future. Sometimes you have to work on yourself.
A common dream
The goal that both partners want to achieve is unifying, since it requires mutual understanding and mutual support.
As a result, “you” and “he” cease to exist. Forms “We”, which is an expression of your common opinion, your love relationships .
I’m not saying that you must have far-sighted plans (for example, to save money and build a dacha). It can be something completely insignificant (the desire to jointly spend the weekend, try something for the first time alone, a joint hobby).
It is important that both partners want this. And this will unequivocally bring you closer and strengthen your relations .
Honor your love affairs
I’m not talking about respect for each other’s feelings (this was already a little higher), but about actually building relations with a partner on a pedestal. Even more accurately, recognize your man number 1.
And remember: everything that happens between you and your man only affects the two of you. It is not necessary to talk in detail about all your relatives, friends and acquaintances. Usually, this can only damage your relationship.
Telling, you violate the principle of mutual trust, which is necessary for maintaining closeness with the beloved. Your partner will be immensely grateful to you, if everything that bothers you in your relationship, you will only discuss with him.
Let’s sum up the results
Any relationship, even ideal (as it sometimes seems from the outside), requires that both partners make certain efforts to strengthen and preserve them. And this process can not follow the planned plan. The rules I have listed are only recommendations.
It’s you in charge of your life and love relationships. You can listen to my advice, but you will have to make important decisions on your own.
Yes, you will often hurt each other. Both of you will make mistakes that you will have to regret. But they learn from mistakes. Only in this way can you learn to properly “care” about your love relationships .
If these 9 tips are not enough or you need help in solving a specific life situation, turn to me and I’ll try to help you.