Nowadays, relations are being destroyed not less often, and sometimes even more often than new ones are tied up.
And all because in most cases people first act, and then think.
It happens that after a break in relations with a man, you very soon begin to understand that in reality you can not live without him. An understanding of how important it was for you has come.
And then there are legitimate questions: ” How to return the relationship? How to fix, the perfect mistake? ” .
If you are interested in the topic of this material, then it is close to you.
Let’s not try to understand why this happened. After all, you did not come for this, but for specific advice on how to get out of the situation. So let’s get down to business right away.
Here is a step-by-step instruction on how to return the former lover and again to fall in love with him.
How to return the former lover, if you still love?
The first thing you need to decide is whether an attempt to restore a relationship is a good idea. Perhaps you just do not fit each other and the termination of the relationship was a logical end. This is the first option.
And the second, more common situation: parting because of unwillingness or inability to listen and make compromises.
Excessive emotionalism in communication could lead to another quarrel, in the heat of which insulting words were spoken, which caused the rupture.
And even when emotions subsided and the opportunity to think over the causes of the conflict arose, the fear of taking the first step leads to a sad ending.
He thinks that he does not need and leaves. And she does not stop him. Pride does not allow her to do this and ask for forgiveness. so what? Which situation is closer to you?
If the first, then there is no sense in returning the relationship.
But if the second one and you are sure that the feelings have not gone away, but have simply become hostages of pride and fear, then of course it is worth trying to establish relations.
So, where do you start? After parting, the established communication is usually lost and the former beloved cease to be seen.
If you are thinking about how to return the former and, most importantly, how to establish relations with him, you will have to find him and make contact again. In this case, most likely, there will be certain awkward feelings, but you need to find the courage to speak to him again. And not somehow, but really sincere, that he felt your desire to start everything from scratch.
1. Call him on phone
It is very difficult for many people to meet face to face with former partners. But you do not need to see him personally to start a dialogue that will allow you to establish a relationship between you.
In our time, this problem can be solved very easily – just call him (write sms, send the letter to an email).
First, think carefully about what you want to talk to him about, and only after that dial the number of his phone (or start writing a letter). Carefully select the words. Speak in a warm and friendly manner.
About what? Find out how he does, how he feels. Thank you for the pleasant moments that you had in the relationship. And of which you are pleasant to remember.
Such questions, of course, will not help you to return this relationship right away , but they will allow you to maintain the conversation for the time necessary to determine its reaction to your call: does it have irritation, resentment, or anger in your voice.
If the conversation is quite comfortable for both of you, then you can proceed to the next stage – hint that you want to establish relations (at least friendly to begin with) and agree on a meeting.
2. Ask for forgiveness
If you really want to return the former , you will have to learn to say “Forgive me” .
If you do not know how to establish relationships that were broken due to the fact that you made a mistake, acknowledge this fact and bring your apologies to the ears of your lover . You have to make sure that he knows how sorry you are.
And even if it’s not you, and your partner was the culprit of the gap, ask for forgiveness for not stopping him then.
3. Conversation with his friends
A very good idea can be a conversation with his friends. It may well be that they will become your allies and help restore relationships that were so foolishly lost. In addition, they can learn about how his life has developed after your parting.
They may know if he still loves you, whether he wishes to return the relationship with you and how good is your idea of talking with him.
Given the fact that they are just his friends, not yours, not all of them will agree to help you. But if you sincerely tell about your feelings and regrets, for sure among them there is someone who will help.
4. He must know that you have changed
You thought a lot about your behavior in the past, which led to the present situation? Did you make every effort to change yourself for the better?
If you want to return the former , let him know that you turned the page of your life.
Promise (first of all, yourself) that you will not repeat the mistakes that you have made. You now know what you want from a relationship and ready to become a truly happy woman .
5. Impress him again and again
It’s not so easy to make an unforgettable impression on a man when meeting. But to do it again is even more difficult. I’ll have to try.
You can go a little down the road and start giving him creative gifts, arrange surprises and provide other signs of attention.
If all these things do not work for him, come up with a different approach. For example, start doing something new than before.
If you are:
- – did not like or did not know how to cook, make an effort and feed him with a delicious dinner, which you personally prepare;
- – especially not interested in his work at work, start to be interested.
Do everything to not only restore the relationship that was before, but to surprise him and fall in love with yourself a second time. Forget that you know each other thoroughly. Behave like at the first date . You should have the very mystery that intrigued him so much the “one” time.
But do not overdo it. It should not seem to you that you are imposing and trying to control his feelings . If he suspects this, then it will definitely not work out.
Everything should happen naturally. Do you think this is impossible? At one remarkable girl all has turned out very successfully:
6. Memories can work
Each of you has pleasant memories from a shared past. Remind him of some of them.
Show him common old photos or offer to meet in one of those places where your first dates were.
Memories have the ability to ignite emotions that have long faded and reminded of the importance of certain things. And this is exactly what is needed in order to establish relations after a quarrel.
Memories can help bring the former back and make him understand that the connection that has arisen sometime in the past between you is much more important than the turmoil that caused the break.
7. Do not lose time
You must understand that you must not lose any opportunity to express your feelings to him . If in the past it seemed to you that you still have a lot of time ahead and you will have time to tell him about your feelings sometime later, then now you know that this is not so.
After all, at any time there can be an event that will tear you apart again and it will be almost impossible to return the relationship for the third time.
So do not forget to remind him as often as possible that your love for him grows stronger with time.
8. Find the reason
Your ex may ask about the cause of your desire to return to him. Remind him of what a wonderful pair you were before parting and how much you loved each other. Is this the most important reason to return a relationship ?
Parting was only one thing, and there were plenty of pleasant moments before that. Tell him how you would like to go back in time, relive all those happy moments again and try to prevent the events that caused you to stop being a couple.
9. Commitments can help
You must give him and yourself your most honest promise that you will try to create an informed relationship . That you will try to be with him always, no matter what. True, the same should be asked from him.
But, before trying to return the former , think about whether you can really fulfill these promises.
And finally, in order for you to believe in yourself, I want to quote one of my wonderful pupils:
What follows from the foregoing?
Breaking the relationship is always a bitter experience. Returning the former can be a rather difficult task, entrusted to fragile female shoulders.
You will need inhuman efforts to fall in love with yourself again. Besides, you have to remember that this is your only chance to fix it.
Therefore, if you really want to restore relations that were undeservedly destroyed, try to take seriously the implementation of the strategy from this article.
In this case, it is not necessary to follow all verbatim.
These are only general recommendations, and think through your specific actions and implement them depending on your situation.
And if there are any difficulties, turn to me and I’ll try to help you with advice.
Ask your questions in the comments, if you are still interested in how to return the former lover.