Fear is an instinctive feeling with which it is sometimes difficult to cope with any person.
One of the most powerful fears of modern man is the fear of responsibility.
In this article we will talk about obligations in relations with the opposite sex.
I’m sure you care about this topic.
Otherwise, why would you read these lines?
This problem is not uncommon.
Women turn to me for help in overcoming fear of serious relationship with a man.
Some of them can not fully start new relationships because of previous negative experiences.
Others are worried about what is happening in the current relationship.
Here are 5 secrets that helped them stop being afraid of a serious relationship.
Be sure, they will help you too.
1. Identify the source of fear
Every fear has its root cause. Your task is to determine where it comes from. Unsuccessful past relationships? The man said that he loved, but hurt you? Did you change the person you loved with all your heart?
The reasons can be set and you must decide on the main ones. With those who do not allow “raise the barrier” in your mind to let a new man into life.
By the way, the reason can be not only in the past partner. Roots can be a thing of the past. Remember, what were the relations of your parents?
If there was not everything in order, you might well be unconsciously afraid that everything will happen again. Or you’ve already projected the behavior you saw and now you suffer from it.
Whatever happens in your past, you can never predict what awaits you in the future. Therefore, there is no reason to fear a repetition of history or even its worst version. The past should be left in the past and give yourself a chance for the future that you deserve.
2. Study your needs and your partner
Do you have enough in common to move on to a serious relationship? Do any of you have a penchant for betrayal (as far as you know, of course)?
And what about financial stability? Is the lifestyle that you and your partner used to live in? Can you adjust to each other’s needs, if this is required? Are there things you can not reconcile with?
If he can change, and he does it – you will suffer. If the lack of money worries you, and he earns little, this is a problem.
If he lives far away and this interferes with relations, and he does not want to gather, the probability for a successful common future is negligible. Carry out a thorough analysis of all such moments. Perhaps your fear of relations appeared just because of your incompatibility on many points.
3. Stop being afraid of the future
To dispel the fear of serious relationship with a man, I advise you not to fantasize about how your life together will develop after many years. After all, many fear the fear of obligations that will appear in the future.
I do not know about you, but some of my students are afraid that they will not have time for themselves in the future. Perhaps your fear of serious relationships also appeared, for example, because of the thought that in a few years you will have a child who will have to dedicate himself. And then the second one will be born and you will finally turn into a housewife, but there will be no time left for yourself.
At the same time, like most others, you can forget that you will have a partner who will help you figure it out. To stop being afraid of serious relationships because of similar
Fantasy, you can not rush into the pool, but try to live with the man for a while, setting some obligations for this period.
Make a list of the housework for which each of you is responsible, and do not forget about those that you will do together. In a few weeks you will understand if you can live with this person further. Most of the shortcomings will be “on the surface.” And yours, too.
If during this period everything turns out more or less well, it will be possible to extend the experiment by adding even more responsibilities to the list of each of you.
And if in the end all the work on the house is not on your shoulders, and its lot is not watching TV with a bottle of beer in the evenings, it means that you can try to build a future with this person. Then the appearance of children will not be a problem for you.
4. Learn how to properly resolve conflicts
Frequent quarrels are one of the reasons why there is a fear of a relationship with a man. Or rather, not the quarrels themselves, but how they end. Sometimes they can grow into serious scandals, after which it is not easy to look into each other’s eyes.
The solution in this case is simple enough and trivial – to learn to calm yourself and calm your partner. Propose this model of the way out of conflict situations to your man in advance.
When there is a disagreement between you, just postpone his decision until the moment when both of you can reason with reason. For example, in the morning, which is wiser than the evening.
5. Practice fulfilling obligations
As with any other fear, the best way to overcome the fear of responsibility is to look into his eyes. Leave your familiar comfort zone and begin to take on responsibilities that at least remotely resemble those that cause you to fear a serious relationship.
For example, you are afraid of responsibility, which will fall on your shoulders at the birth of a child. Arrange a nanny or at least invite friends to look after their children.
Can you overcome your fears?
I’m sure you already have the answer to this question. Otherwise, you would not read this article to the end. And I will say more – this answer was formed in your head at the very moment when you began to read the very first advice. It was then that you decided that it’s time to stop being afraid of serious relationships.
Now you need to make a little more effort to translate it into reality.
The main thing – do not back down! If you start, there will be no way back.
Perhaps you need additional advice and practical tasks. With this I can also help you with answering to your comments.