Sometimes it seems that friendship is lost, but there is a way out
It is difficult to find a person who would live with ease without friends or not upset because of their loss and absence.
For many, it is important to know that they have people who can share with them both joy and sorrow, which they will understand and in a difficult moment will support, give advice, and listen.
It happens that even the most faithful and not “pour water” friends gradually move away from each other.
And here the main question arises:
- what to do in the current situation with the distance and how to establish relations with a friend.
First you need to identify the cause. In most cases, violent communication fades to nothing, constant conversations and meetings are becoming less and less, and then communication turns into single words and phrases: “how are you”, “normal, how are you?”.
Study, work, family, household chores – all this constant employment requires at times some actions and deeds through “I do not want.”
For example, to phone with friends after an exhausting working day, when there are no forces, I want to hide from the whole world, do not talk to anyone or just lie down or sit down, and then you need to pull yourself together, get ready and go somewhere, without much emotion on this.
Therefore, if it is felt that the relationship and the more so friendship acquires a superficial appearance, but it would be desirable not this, then, it is worthwhile to act.
Call and collect friends in a noisy company to visit, and it does not necessarily have to arrange some grand feast, it’s enough that everyone will gather and be able to be together, for example, on tea with a cake, on his own cooked pizza. You can also go to the cinema, bowling or kebabs to the nature.
One meeting held together will not be enough. It is necessary to get in the habit of getting together and making a tradition out of it, finding for this time, and then the friends themselves will start to throw up interesting ideas for a fun mutual communication and recreation. And the more you communicate with each other, the more so for different discussions, some general memories and the appearance of craving to reassemble and meet again.
If you have deteriorated relations in the aftermath of any quarrel and there is a huge abyss between you, then in this situation you need to act differently than stated above.
It does not matter who is to blame for the quarrel and your quarrel, for, on the one hand, wine lies on everyone, to one degree or another. One is to blame for having started a conflict, and the other is that he responded to it, and did not end the quarrel.
Therefore, if friendship was really expensive, and I would like to establish relations, then it is necessary to take the first step, even if there is confidence that it is not you in a quarrel, but your friend or friends that are to blame. But it does not oblige to apologize or ask for forgiveness, it is worth saying that friendship is many times more important and more expensive than quarrels and quarrels, and that I would very much like to establish previous relationships, no matter what.
If you are the instigator of a quarrel, a conflict, then it is better to sincerely apologize to you, which will undoubtedly soften the negative situation. Perhaps, friends will not immediately go to the world, but you have provided an excuse for thinking. However, if the quarrel was petty, then after the apology, it will be easier for both sides to let go of their grievances and continue their friendship.
Love for a friend, loss of friendship?
There is an opinion that there is no friendship between a man and a woman. And even though people of opposite sex communicate, it means that there was something between them or everything is still ahead, or something will definitely happen. The truth is there. And if you do not want to lose a friend, then some effort should be made.
How not to fall in love with a friend if you began to see a future lover in your friend. For starters, think, just like this and in general, any close relationship with him. Remember, ask yourself the question: why communicate with him, what do you value in this friend.
- A frequent phenomenon that in a friend is forgiven or simply “eyes are closed” on the qualities of a person, behavior, and in a partner for you are simply unacceptable.
Just think about the fact that the communication will disappear ease, because a serious relationship – this is a serious burden. Two people who meet, building relationships should take care of each other, keep in touch, wonder about health, affairs and much more. Should help to solve problems together.
You let in your life, so to speak, an outsider, and he enters yours, and you actively participate in each other’s lives. So decide if you are ready for this turn of events. It is possible that your true communication a couple of times a week is the most optimal option.
It is worth considering and this aspect: you are aware of the girls of a friend, you know everything about his personal life. Appreciate whether everything suits you in his companions. Are you ready to communicate your guy with former passions. All this will necessarily happen, since there is at this moment a friendship with you, then why should he stop communicating with female representatives if your communication and friendship go to a closer and more serious turn.
If this alignment does not suit you, then it’s better to remain in the role of a friend.
In rare cases, after the severance of relations between partners, at least some friendly relations remain. Find a new guy is not so difficult in our time, but a good and reliable friend – a difficult task. Therefore, decide for yourself whether you are ready for a loss of friendship, before trying to build a relationship with him. And it is not known whether love will come to the place of friendship or not. And friendship and trust, which were before – will never be.
Indestructible friendship is real friendship, everything else is fake
To understand a true friend or not, pay attention to his support. A true friend tries to help, gives a sense of self-confidence and the joy of life. If on the contrary – he suppresses, you feel with him not suitable, not a single kind word in your address is audible, under no circumstances, then he is not your friend.
The statements of a true friend are encouraging. For example, does he say compliments, are you happy with your new job, any acquisitions. Is he trying to cheer when the situation demands it? A true friend will support you and before the exam, interview and even before the first date. A true friend does not have to put you in a good mood, but should be your constant fan, contributing to your success, regardless of the occupation.
He must give time to listen to all that you want to tell him. In true friendship, both sides should share their thoughts and receive any response. If your friend mostly talks violently about his problems, but responds weakly to yours, then he is a bad friend. Pay attention to the reaction of a friend when you share something with him.
If he just nods, maintains eye contact, means a friend, and if he looks around and around, he is pulling a mobile phone, in search of something on the screen – it’s not a friend. Look at whether the friend remembers your previous conversation and what you have ever told him. A real friend will remember, especially if it’s something important.
A bad friend may pretend to listen to you, but then it turns out that he does not remember such things, that they offered you a new job, you suddenly fell in love, because he did not listen to you. Assess the situation, who says more: you or a friend. Ideally, true friends should talk about the same time. If it seems that you have to listen to something every now and then, then your relationship is uneven.
You and your friend should interact with each other. If you can easily and honestly share your thoughts or feelings, a friend knows what’s going on in your life, and while you are comfortable, then you have a friendly friendly relationship. If you have some kind of fear or reluctance to tell a friend about your feelings, since it can anger him or you are afraid of getting disapproval, then there can not be any friendly relations here.
A true friend can sometimes say what you think and feel, since there is some connection. If a friend shares feelings, thoughts with all but you, in a relationship problem. A true friend you can say that he is not behaving correctly, for example: “I was offended because you did not come for a birthday” and discuss this situation.
Since there is no ideal friendship, and an important point is clearing up all misunderstandings. If you swallow insults without words, because you think that a friend will react sharply or not at all, then it is not real.
A good friend does not gossip. Everyone loves to rinse the bones without exception, but if you notice that a friend constantly talks nastily and gathers gossip about other people, then there is the possibility that the same is happening behind your back. A bad friend says stuff about a person, as soon as he is turned away, his close friends are always present in his discussions, he speaks ill of people who are not around, or you once heard that he spoke badly to your address – it’s not a friend and Not even a good friend.
He loves, does not like, will embrace, kiss …
Guys do not always say to the end about what they think. The reasons for this secrecy are different. But if you observe and be attentive, then everything can be understood without unnecessary words. Here are tips on how to understand the relationship of a guy to you, with the observation and analysis of his actions.
First, pay attention to how he looks at you, talking, with what intonation. If he with a burning gaze does not take his eyes off you, tilting his head slightly to one side, then your figure is interested in him. It seems that he catches every moment spent in your presence, every word, maybe your voice is pleasing to him or the appearance as a whole, and maybe all of you are whole.
At the sight of the girl you like, the guy can just pause, fix either his shirt, hairstyle, or something else, trying to seem confident. Can start telling interesting funny stories, or stories of their exploits. It is not necessary to take everything seriously, as the guys like to slightly embellish the stories in order to appear before the girl in the best light. Of course, if a guy behaves this way before a girl, then no doubt he likes him.
It is necessary to pay attention to whether your problems are interesting to him, how your affairs are. Sadly, if he is not at all interested in it and hardly then he is making any plans about the relationship with you, maybe he considers you just for single entertainment, nothing more, or he’s just selfish. If things are different, and he zealously inquires about the state of your affairs, tries even to participate in them, to help, it shows his interest, the desire to take part in your life, to give support.
- Evaluation of a guy’s relationship to you can be done by his behavior with you in the presence of strangers. If you are interesting to him, then during the conversation the guy tries to turn around to you, for example, throwing his hands on his shoulders, will sit down closer. But most of all you need to pay attention to how he behaves with you in the company, where there are other girls. With the same attention to you or he is on the contrary cold and trying to pull away. If everything is unchanged, then he appreciates your relationship.
Often calls on the phone about and without, doing this almost every twenty minutes, being interested in your affairs, well-being. He often calls you for walks or seeks various pretexts to stay with you. It also spends free and unfree time in your company. I am ready to share with you things that are important to him.
A good sign is acquaintance of you with friends or better, with the closest friend of his. Since friends for the male are of great importance, therefore, if he decides to take such a step, it means that there are some good plans for you. But if he introduced you to his parents, while introducing you as his girlfriend, then without any doubt one can say about his feelings, he is in love.