Life is what it is: and divorces were, are and will be, at all times, and, perhaps, there is only one effective way to avoid them – generally stop marrying or marrying.
But between the happy life of a family man and the “bachelor” free life of an adult, there is another very popular option – life “in a step from divorce.”
A lot of couples are in this intermediate state for many years.
And whether it is necessary?
The life of a woman in this difficult marriage is in constant turmoil: try to solve problems “peacefully,” or break off relations with this person to leave their child’s father’s bases for their own interests, or to save, even a bad, but a family?
Children, housing conditions, material dependence – these and many other reasons can deter a woman from divorce for years, and even tens of years.
Even with the obvious collapse of the family, it is so difficult to make the last decisive step!
Each woman behaves in accordance with the prevailing circumstances, attitudes and character. The advice of a friend, mother and even a psychologist, will not help here. Naturally, there can be no instructions written specifically for each particular family.
But, according to statistics, most often women become provocateurs of breaks.
Family psychologists, believe that a woman provoke a gap inherent, at a subconscious level. This may be an attempt to get anything from her husband, or simply a desire to demonstrate his superiority and eventually change the husband for the better.
Defending their positions in such an unusual way, the woman most often does not want to part. She organizes scandals, rolls hysterics in the hope that the spouse, as a responsible and serious person, or conversely, weak-willed and frivolous, will be frightened by the threat of “grief” in the form of a break in their relationship and try to accept the beloved’s demands persuading her to save their family.
Very often a woman does not take into account the fact that the spouse from the role of a decent family man offered to him can refuse and will not want to play the game imposed on her. Conversely, there are families where a man will not miss a single skirt on the side or abuse alcohol. Such a spouse easily misses the repeated promises of his wife “immediately” to divorce him, or to leave him. He does not take her words seriously, because he knows very well: little is harmed by the one who threatens a lot.
There are many hypotheses that our destiny is predetermined exclusively at the genetic level, that our future is being formed in the family, that we unconsciously strive to realize the attitudes of our parents. Family life partly confirms these hypotheses. Very often, the “looping” of a woman on a particular behavioral model goes back to childhood.
Some were brought up in a house where parents did not behave like a model of a decent wife and husband’s behavior. This leads to very negative consequences, the girl does not get the right idea about the normal relationship between a woman and a man, and in her married life this results in a number of specific problems. It is not easy for her to create a full-fledged and strong family, that is why, in her subconscious, a completely different scheme of relationships was established.
Others grew up in a family where one “whale” was missing, one significant quantity, of three components: a child, a mother, a father. And, becoming an adult, a woman lopsidedly and unequivocally judges the absence of a father in the house, believing that without her husband, it is possible to raise and raise a child or, conversely, that in no case will leave her child without a father, no matter what bastard that was.
Among married women, there are adherents of two family “theories” – the first piously believe that under no circumstances can one divorce, and that one must fight to the last for the preservation of the family. The second consider that divorce is not a tricky business and it is necessary to resort to it immediately if the first disagreements and inconsistencies occur with the couple.
Radicalism, and the use of extreme, decisive measures in family life, are rarely justified and often does not lead the woman to the desired result. Getting rid of a stumbled or imperfect spouse, if left alone, late or early, a woman will certainly think about the meaning of acquiring the freedom that has recently been so desired. Why did they break up, because the divorce was not the only way out? She can hardly live further alone. Maybe she will soon be able to meet a man she had long dreamed of. However, in the near future, having passed certain everyday difficulties, she again can understand that her next choice is far from ideal and has not brought about significant changes in her life. So, what, once again, “solving all problems” divorce?
Divorce is – the strongest emotional, mental shock that never goes unnoticed.
But one can not recognize the position of those numerous young ladies who are doing everything to save their failed union, and their husbands in this case only strengthen their opinion of their own irreplaceability and exclusivity. # Life after the final point in a relationship, or how to live after a divorce? . You need to protect the family, but you do not need to fear divorce as a fire. If a woman excludes divorce as something terrible for her, and her husband knows about it, then year after year he will be “riddled” more and more.
Since I firmly believe that a loving wife will always be around and will endure everything, no matter how he behaves himself.
Ability to forgive Softness, tolerance, flexibility – all this must be in relation to the husband, but these qualities of women “do not work” and even, on the contrary, destroy your family, in cases when the husband is not “endowed” with high morality.
All tolerance of women is a kind of substituted neck, on which you want to sit down and hang your legs.
The unacceptable weakness of women, detrimental to herself, is forgiveness because of an inexplicable fear of divorce.