There are millions of reasons why people divorce, however, not all of them are so obvious. Understanding why marriages break up will help you maintain a relationship with your partner.
They say that the marriages of loving people are made in heaven. Perhaps, after several setbacks, many years of dating and disappointment, you finally found someone with whom you are ready to go together through life to the very end.
But then suddenly everything changes and your marriage is under attack.
Why do people disagree, even if it seems that everything is going perfectly? Why marriage bonds become a burden? Why do marriages break up?
According to the American magazine Enrichment Journal, 41% of couples break up among first-time families, 60% of newly married couples, and 73% of couples who were formed through third marriage.
Why is this all happening? 10 main reasons why marriages break up:
1. “Of course, I trust you, but I have to check your messages”
If there is no absolute trust between people, such relations will sooner or later cease. Trust is the basis of marriage. As soon as you begin to doubt your partner, problems in communication begin. Constant control of correspondence, tracking of who your partner communicates with or meets, endless inquiries and suspicions will lead to hostile attitudes.
If it seems to you that your partner is hiding something, try to find out. But do not watch him, but communicate directly. If it seems to you that the partner has stopped trusting you, think about why it happened. Perhaps it’s worth changing your behavior or trying to build relationships again. Revitalize relationships can your need each other. If this is not the case, relations will cease on their own.
2. “You decided to put an end to yourself, so I kissed with another”
Cheating a partner is the worst thing you can think of. Extramarital communication is a kind of escape from reality. Such adventures can at first look very attractive, but, in fact, you risk losing both – a new friend and a spouse. Still, if you took the commitment to be faithful to one person, it should be followed.
Otherwise, why then was it necessary to legalize relations? The feeling of betrayal is unbearable. It’s silly to hope that your partner will forgive you. How would you act in his place? If there are problems with your partner, you just have to sit down and talk quietly. The search for new love adventures behind her husband is not the best way out.
3. “Honey, we need to talk”
Another reason for unsuccessful marriage is the lack of ordinary communication. Your relationship can not be broken if you spend a lot of time together and constantly communicate.
Most problems can be easily solved if they are discussed simply with each other. But when the spouses do not communicate or communicate inadequate, it is difficult to solve even minor issues. Lack of communication leads to distrust and doubt. To avoid stress in the family, one must not only tell his partner about his problems, but listen to him and try to understand.
4. “You were so sweet when
I met you, and now you’ve become my mother” If a partner does not like you, you can not live with him a full sexual life.
If you notice that your husband does not like your figure or that you always look the same, you must try to get back to normal and start using makeup. If the spouse does not like how you dress, immediately change something in your clothes.
5. “Of course, we will talk”
Selfishness can also be disastrous for marriage. Some people think so much about themselves that they completely forget about their spouse. If you quarrel, one of you must take the initiative of reconciliation, to talk and settle all the problems. If none of you are ready to yield, this will lead to an even more exacerbated relationship. It’s okay that your opinions differ. Quarrels and various misunderstandings – a normal phenomenon in family life.
You must learn to listen not only yourself. If you feel that your partner is not going to meet halfway in resolving the issue, you will have to do this yourself. It is especially important to do this if during a quarrel you said something insulting. However, if the grievances come from your partner, and you have to settle everything only for you, sooner or later you will also have to talk about it.
6. “What do I have to do with it?
After all, you wanted children! ” After the birth of a child, many couples face common financial problems and often experience stress when adapting to a new life. Does this indicate that the birth of a child can be the cause of the breakup of marriage? Of course not!
Before planning a child, one must be confident in each other. It is necessary to discuss in advance all the changes in your life with the possible appearance of a child. It is necessary to tune in to the fact that adaptation to new conditions will take some time. Try to make sure that the responsibilities for caring for the child are distributed to both of you, be it financial expenses or housework.
7. “So what if I communicated with my ex. Hardly now I will return to her, once I married you”
One of the most common causes of the breakup of marriage is your fixation on past relationships. Sometimes the spouses compare each other with their former partners and constantly indicate that one or the other does not meet expectations.
It must be understood that all people are different, that’s why everyone should be perceived as he is. If a person has any shortcomings, you just have to reconcile with them. If your partner does not object, it is possible to maintain friendly relations with your ex-spouses. However, if this interferes with family relations, such communication should be discontinued.
8. “It’s okay that I laughed at you with my friends. I still love you anyway”
It is very disrespectful to make fun of your spouse in front of your friends. Harmless jokes that do not offend him are quite possible. However, you should be careful. Many people do not like it when they start making fun of their family members. In jokes you need to know the measure. Of course, you can joke a bit.
But if this continues all the time, it will lead to daily quarrels and skirmishes. It must be remembered that if you respect your partner, he will also treat you as well. Relations built on a feeling of gratitude to each other will only be stronger.
9. “Let’s get married, because you are so rich!”
Of course, money is important. Everyone needs money. But do I have to marry just for money? Many, of course, agree with this.
However, at one point you can find that with the person you married, you do not feel happy, since you, it turns out, have nothing in common. The same can happen if you marry a very handsome man. Sooner or later you will realize that your wedding was a mistake.
10. “Come on! The main thing is that we love each other. So what, that we are only 17!”
Too early marriage is a rather dangerous situation. When partners are too young and in love with each other, they believe that early marriage is just what is needed. They do not understand that this implies a great responsibility, while still wanting to have fun with friends.
Alas, very few people at the age of 17-18 years can boast of a prosperous financial situation and psychological stability. If you are not able to cope with marital duties, you are in for a lot of disappointment.
Feeling of regret and failure can be very traumatic and affect the rest of your life. Therefore, if your partner is still very young and wants to get married, let him know what feelings you are having for him, and try to convince that there is no point in hurrying so. If he loves you, he will wait.
If your marriage falls apart, there are many negative feelings and emotions that accompany conflict and disappointment.
Having coped with stress and having looked at this situation detached, you can easily find the real reasons why your marriage falls apart.