Men, in contrast to women, prefer to leave in something, without saying anything, without explaining anything, leaving us in complete ignorance.
They do not like loud scandals with rapid clarification of the relationship, as in the series.
Having decided once to leave, they simply disappear from our lives.
Almost every one of us knows what his long silence means.
Almost every one of us has experienced these troubled moments, when minutes wait for a call for years, the days are stretched for long and tiring decades – we do not find a place, trying to understand and find the answer to our main question: “Why?” “We are different, – he says.
But what is “different”? Delusional excuse at parting or a weighty argument? Why only yesterday were “the same”, and today “different”?
Let’s remember how it happens with a self thought story.
As one women said: I met John Doe via the Internet in one social network . We talked for a long time, got to know each other, a week later he invited me to a real meeting. Our meeting was held in a very beautiful restaurant. Everything was like a fairy tale.
Despite all my doubts, he surpassed all conceivable and unthinkable expectations. John Doe was a very handsome and charming gentleman. This rare Prince, you can say. Not that I did not see his photos, but after a couple of unsuccessful dates in blind, I completely stopped trusting the photo.
John Doe on our first date showed himself as a very caring, interesting and intelligent person: he asked the waiter to move our table away from the door so that he would not bloom me, listened attentively to me, asked questions with interest and was extremely polite and tactful. In my head, then, the idea arose that everything is too good to be true – I was waiting for some kind of dirty trick, honestly to admit.
Every evening after this meeting he wished me good night, good morning – his gentle assesses were very beautiful and touching. It seemed that he, the one who saw in me the beauty that was hidden for many years. I did not fall in love. No. I was still waiting for a dirty trick, because I know perfectly well that fairy tales do not happen.
I tried to avoid affection by all the truths and crooks, but we saw each other almost every day. Almost every day, imagine, he gave me a fairy tale, showed me new beautiful places, took me to the most chic restaurants, theaters, movies, flowers, expecting nothing from me in return. But after a month of this fairy tale he suddenly did not call.
Two more days passed and I realized that he openly ignores me. I just wanted to know why.
I must say, I never called him first, giving the whole initiative completely in his hands. That evening, he just disappeared – I did not call for three days, waiting for a call from him . Then I decided to write to him, but he did not answer. Two more days passed and I realized that he openly ignores me. I just wanted to know why.
I phoned him after a week to ask – why? “We are different,” I heard from him that day. And that was his only explanation. We are different. And that’s it.
What to do when a man answers you – “different”?
1. Accept the situation with dignity, with head held high, without losing a bit of self-respect, however painful it may be. Do not think out for a man, do not try to find out what exactly is different in you, and even more so in no case try to “make yourself” the same, trying to remake yourself, because this will only aggravate your situation.
2. Release the situation. Remember, you are the mistress of your life, including your thoughts. Take control of your thoughts and think consciously about other things. As soon as you catch yourself on “So what did he mean by saying that we are different?”, Drive away such thoughts. Take up your head with work, a book or something else that captivates you.
3. Assess the situation. Do not confuse yourself, evaluate yourself and the situation – these are two different things. Many begin to scold themselves and puzzle over where they have stumbled, what and when “they blurted out not that.” Do not judge yourself – self-flagellation will only further reduce your self-esteem. Assess the situation, but in such a way as to bring out some positive lesson from it. Make your own conclusion. Remember, even negative experience is priceless (read: the most priceless experience is negative).
4. And most importantly – thank him! Mentally learn to sincerely thank him for what he was in your life. Of course, for many it is an impossible task, because it hurts, because it is insulting, because it “threw”. But try to look at the situation more globally, because he could not even appear in your life.
Yes, you probably would not have tears for him , but you would not have the happiness that he brought to your life. Understand, life consists of sweet and bitter, light and dark, happiness and pain – when there are no tears, there is no joy.
People lie, and a man is also a person. Understand, you yourself are making a sacrifice-consciously choosing this role! Suffer or go on – the choice is yours.
Remember, you create your own life!
Do not let any man control what you feel!
Come out victorious from all life situations, no matter how terrible they may seem.
And forget about how he said that you are different! In your life, things are much more interesting!