This simple and natural desire to become happy with a man very often becomes the reason why women turn to a relationship coach for help.
– I tried all the methods available to me, tried to be perfect, do all that is necessary, but I could not become happy in the relationship .
While some have psychological problems, such as depression, self-doubt, bitter past experience or childhood trauma, most simply can not bring their search for happiness to its logical conclusion.
They are disappointed in themselves, they consider themselves unsuccessful and stop trying even halfway. And in vain.
Believe me, in the world there has not yet been born a woman who for some reason (for special reasons) can not be happy.
Many people study innumerable books and articles on this topic, go to such psychologists who only know the theory of relations, but never become happy.
Perhaps you know such people in your environment?
Why does disappointment come as a result?
The truth is that most women have no idea how to become happy . Their attempts to reach this state eventually make them even more unhappy than they were before.
If you are one of them, I offer your attention to my masculine look and observations of what allows women to finally become happy in a relationship.
Wrong idea of how to become happy
- How often do you act to cheer yourself up?
- You eat delicious, even if not very useful.
- You go to a concert of your favorite band.
- You spend the weekend with your friends.
- Do not go to work and pretend to be ill, to lie on the couch all day in front of the TV.
- Yes, these things can easily improve your mood.
But this way of thinking is not suitable for becoming happy . After all, on this principle only good moments in life have anything to do with happiness. And if today it rains and your boss, colleague, client has a bad mood?
It is important to understand that depending only on good news and events, it is a mistake, as my diligent student did:
This is the starting point, which is the biggest misconception – the belief that you can become happy if you constantly avoid pain (of course, emotional).
In fact, pain is a necessary part of your future happiness. Therefore sometimes it needs to be able to accept and understand. To become the best.
Pain helps to recognize happy moments
If you feel happy all the time, you can not always determine your condition as Happiness.
From time to time you need to experience completely opposite feelings, in order to learn how to correctly identify moments of happiness and appreciate them.
You may not fully understand how this works, but quarrels and resentments in the end can help you become happy with your loved one (even if it sometimes hurts you emotionally). The quarrel in the relationship in this case is an experience, the opportunity for you to grow in pairs, to understand each other more deeply. And you personally – to learn more about their men .
Relief from pain gives a sense of happiness
The pain does not give pleasure (with the exception of some inclinations, which it is inappropriate to say here). Another thing – the release from it.
Agree that when the pain goes away, a person experiences an elevated level of happiness that can not be achieved, if at all, never in the life of experiencing any pain.
Remember one of those cases when your lover asked for forgiveness (no matter what), and suddenly you felt comfortable and comfortable in the shower. It happened like this?
It is likely that when two people experience joint painful events, the relationship between them is tied much easier and becomes much stronger, because the pain promotes empathy.
Cohesion as a result of the experienced joint pain strengthens cooperation between people.
Think, who will understand you more? The one who has never been in a similar situation? Or someone who has experienced this? I think the answer is obvious.
Correctly having lived a painful situation, correctly reacting to them, you can become happy with your loved one who was near you not only in joy, but also in difficult moments of your relationship.
Pain gives permission to reward yourself
This is the reason why hot chocolate is much tastier and warmer after you get soaked in the pouring rain, rather than just drinking it on a typical evening.
When you do something really important or overcome a difficult period, you will get a very strong pleasure as a result, because you become wiser as a woman. Because the value of joy, happiness, pleasant moments. Yes, it is difficult to accept, but the pain allows you to learn to truly rejoice.
Perhaps your previous relationship has been destroyed and you suffer from it. Believe me, when you can tie new ones, this will allow you to become happy in these new relationships . It’s letting you understand the language of your man’s love.
Pain grabs your attention
Pain always pays attention to what is happening.
If you have a headache or emotional pain, you will focus on what is happening at the moment. You know, I invest a lot in my development, and I know how important it is to be able to concentrate on here and now. Be able to adequately assess the current situation.
In the case of a sick head, you focus on the place from which pain comes.
So it is with emotional experiences, the cause of which can be deep inside your soul. You will focus on suffering, on its cause and live this moment.
In this case, the pain helps to learn to live today. This means that you will less often think about what happened yesterday and worry less about what might happen tomorrow. And you know, this will allow you to understand that pain is just your reaction to the situation. No more.
And if you learn to live this day, it can help you to become happy in the future when you let the pain go.
Do not be afraid of pain
If you always try to avoid pain, sooner or later you will overtake it, and you will suffer from it.
But if you already now learn to accept pain as an integral part of your life path, it will help you not only to become happy in relationships and in life in general.
Remember that happiness is not the absence of pain. The secret, how to become happy in a relationship , is very simple – you need to find in yourself a sufficient amount of mental strength to take advantage of the pain and accept it as a necessary experience.
If you feel bad now after another failure on your personal front, give yourself a little time to suffer. Allow yourself to be weak and vulnerable.
But then collect all your will in a fragile female fist, raise your chin, look your way forward and go in search of your happiness.
If you need help with this, you can always write about it in the comments.