How to work with a childhood friend?

It’s good to have a close friend.

However, if you still have to be colleagues, you have every chance to ruin a good relationship.

It would seem that you have nothing to divide, and the unfulfilled relationship with the opposite gender, the crazy adventures between sessions and, as a consequence, the difficult victory in the fight with the dean of the faculty, who unceremoniously wished to prematurely complete your training, were supposed to cement your friendship forever Centuries.

But you both have matured, dream of a dizzying career, and it is possible that the office one day will not turn into a real battlefield for you.How to work with a childhood friend?

Contrary to the imagination, which draws bright scenes of bloody fights, it is necessary to connect common sense to the matter and try to do everything possible to not only perpetuate your friendship, but also become good colleagues.

The task is not from the lungs, but friends often expect and require too much from each other.

In order to avoid unnecessary problems in the future, you should immediately understand whether you owe something to each other.

Story: “Despite the fact that she is my boss, I do not think that our relations at work will be very different from those that connect us outside the office. I look forward to the encouragement and indulgence on her part, because we are friends. I do not think that it will be difficult for her to reward me out of turn or to close my eyes to my delay. ”

  • With friends you continue to stay at home, at work you are colleagues.

Perhaps this is one of the most dangerous and wrong misconceptions – to think that as your leader, a girlfriend should be lenient towards you or somehow especially highlight your achievements.

Even realizing this, many people continue to count on the fact that delays and non-performance of work on time will be let go of them, and bonuses are assigned simply.

This you just do not have to, even the closest friend. With friends you keep staying at home, at work you are colleagues, and if one of you is a leader and another is a subordinate, you will have to obey.

Otherwise, the relationship can deteriorate badly, you will not have time to become colleagues, and you will not be friends any more.

Real life story 1: “Together we came to this company in the same positions, but eventually the girlfriend succeeded in the work a little more than me, and it was raised. Until now, offended at her, she knew how I tried to get a promotion, because in the near future my family will have a lot of money spending. Maybe she should have refused? “

Being colleagues, you are at work in equal conditions, which means that each of you has a chance to prove yourself and to differ in front of the leadership.

It is quite natural that someone may get better or worse. Perhaps, the girlfriend also has her own primary needs, which you do not need to know about, and she will find worthy use for the money she has received.

Surely you would hardly be offended by any other colleague ahead of you in the working race, is not it? It is quite another matter when, in attempts to attract the attention of the authorities, the girlfriend resorts to prohibited methods – builds intrigues , dissolves gossip , deliberately refuses elementary help in order to minimize your dignity and professional achievements.

In that case, you have every right to question your friendship and reconsider your relationship.

Real life story 2: “With the best childhood friend we have been working for several years in one company. We are very close and know the most secret secrets of each other. Management values ​​us both, and there is no rivalry between us professionally. The problem is different – in communication with colleagues, at corporate parties and during other events, the girlfriend constantly “pulls the blanket over herself,” trying to attract attention to herself, no matter how. At the same time, she can tell a story about my participation, personal content, without asking my consent, which, in my opinion, is not intended for other people’s ears. I do not like it. Does she have the right to do this? “

It’s not for nothing that HR specialists strongly recommend not to touch on personal topics in communication with colleagues.

If you are going to work together, you should immediately discuss this point and arrange all the points above the “i” – everything that happens to you outside the office should remain strictly between you.

It’s not for nothing that HR specialists strongly recommend not to touch on personal topics in communication with colleagues, and today in most companies employees do not always know whether a man sitting at a neighboring table is married and how many children he has. In spite of the contrast with how our parents worked and closely communicated with colleagues in Soviet times, these rules deserve attention.

Therefore, it is worth seriously talking with your girlfriend and explaining to her that it is not necessary to cover the intimate side of your life in the team.

Real life story 3: “It so happened that my husband went to a close friend and colleague, leaving me with a small child. Several years have passed, but I am not abandoned by a thirst for revenge. I hold a good position and is close to the leadership, if I want, perhaps, could help “leaving” the ex-girlfriend. Keep from this remorse. Does my secret desire justify her betrayal? “

Should the question be asked otherwise – is it appropriate to confuse work and personal dislike ?

Even if once a girlfriend behaved ugly towards you, but at the same time is a conscientious and executive employee, enjoys the trust of management and does not cause complaints from him, it is hardly worth taking any action in order to undermine her reputation.

Not only is this dishonorable, because other people’s unseemly acts do not justify our own actions, this behavior may not turn into your favor. If the insidious design is revealed, you will have to make phenomenal efforts to restore a good name.

At first, the joy of the news that you have to work together with your girlfriend can hardly overshadow the warnings of more experienced comrades that such work can easily cross out the long years of loyal friendship. However, the chances to keep it multiply increase, if you both adhere to a few simple rules:

  1. Separate work and friendship: friends – at home, colleagues – in the office
  2. Carefully keep secrets – what you know, should not become public
  3. Keep objectivity – do everything so that a quarrel at a friendly party does not affect your assessment of the quality of the work of a friend
  4. Remember, by and large at work you do not have to each other anything, except how not to stop each of you from doing your work and not putting obstacles on the way to personal success
  5. At the same time, render each other every possible help, but not to the detriment of one’s own interests
  6. Avoid requests for a friend from the series “to cover up before the authorities” or to accentuate their professional merits
  7. More work and less laugh about and without – your tandem will be much more positive to be perceived by management and colleagues at work

To work with a friend is both more pleasant and fun, if not for the numerous “buts” that risk turning friendship into mutual hostility.

However, if you honestly discuss the priorities and goals of each of you, agree to follow the established rules and observe certain limits as to what can and can not be done at work, the probability of remaining close friends will increase at times.

Knowing how valuable true female friendship is and how important its advantages are, probably, it is worth fighting for it no less zealously than for a place in the leader’s chair.


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