Do you know why 90% of problems arise between men and women?
Because there is no trust in the relationship.
The truth is that it is difficult for a modern woman to fully trust a man, his strength, courage.
And the man feels it.
It is necessary to maintain confidence in relations constantly.
Without it, it is difficult to build a truly intimate relationship.
The absence or decline of confidence is one of the main problems that couples encounter at the very beginning of their common path or in the process of building relationships.
Loss of trust in a relationship without the partners’ attempts to restore it usually leads to the same result – to parting.
But this result is not a verdict.
A critical element in this is the mutual desire to learn to trust one’s partner. If it’s easier, then 100% rely on your man.
What does ” trust” in relations mean ?
First, let’s figure out what trust is for the relationship .
The opportunity to share your feelings and emotions with a partner, being confident that he will not condemn you for them and will respect them.
To be confident in confidentiality is that everything that is said will remain between you.
Know that he will always support you when you need it.
Full of confidence that he will not be able to hurt you purposefully.
Lack of lies in your relationship.
Be confident in the sincerity and depth of your mutual feelings. As a result, a new level of your relationship .
The reasons for which it is difficult to learn to trust
Now let’s look at what may be the primary source of distrust:
- Having in the past emotional pain associated with trust, an experience that makes you afraid of its recurrence in the future.
- The experience of the hostile process of parting.
- Childhood spent in an emotionally unstable environment (problems in the relationship of parents).
- Serious deception (perhaps, treason) of a loved one in one of the past or the present relationship.
- Low self-esteem, because of which you can not believe that it is worthy of love and care on the part of another person.
What prevents women from learning to trust men
First of all, the deep beliefs of women associated with past experiences, experiences, stories of friends and acquaintances. For example:
I suffered earlier and I am sure that it will happen again.
Men always pursue some benefit in their relationship with me. Therefore, you need to behave with them the same way.
- You can not trust anyone.
- Those you love always hurt.
- “All the peasants goats” and do not deserve trust.
- Everyone wants to offend me.
- As soon as I open to him, he will laugh at me and leave me.
- There are no such concepts as correct, healthy, happy relationships.
- It is better to live all life alone, than to risk your mental health because of men.
- You can not show your weakness to anyone, because they will be used against me.
Are you familiar with such statements? If so, read on.
Increasing the level of trust in relations
And now let’s answer honestly to yourself: how often does one of these extremely pessimistic thoughts visit your head?
Try to assess the level of trust in your current partner on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is not trusted at all, and 10 – you believe with all your heart.
Record this figure to check it from time to time and note the improvements that have taken place.
If you can not learn to trust a man not because he gives reasons for this by his behavior, but it’s only in your internal emotional problems, a man will feel it.
Understand that your partner does not deserve a relationship without trust because of your past unsuccessful experience. Therefore, further I will list the possible ways, after which you will learn to trust men .
If the trust in the relationship is violated because of the actions of your partner, the plan will be completely different.
About him, we’ll talk a little further.
What you need to do to build trust
Believe that when you open up before your man, this action will become the key to his heart and will give occasion to open up before you.
Take care of creating a suitable atmosphere for building trust in relationships. In this atmosphere, there is no room for accusations, hostility, antipathy, rudeness and sarcasm. It can only be forgiveness, kindness, understanding and healthy communication, helping to solve problems in relationships. And most importantly – 100% knowledge (not feeling, desire, namely, KNOWLEDGE!) That your man is the best.
Eliminate the feeling of competition and start “playing in the same team.”
Remove the factors that bring a feeling of jealousy in a relationship. For example, establish boundaries of communication with colleagues at work. In particular, with women, if it comes to your jealousy towards him.
Start telling each other about all your personal problems and experiences . Find ways to solve them together and provide mutual support.
Accept the fact that your man at any time can tell the whole world everything he knows about you, and learn to trust him in spite of it.
Assess your opportunities to match his confidence . Are you sure that you can be honest with him, keep his secrets and fulfill your promises? How much are you loyal to him with thoughts, soul, body? Think about it.
Give up life based on fear . This feeling often limits interaction with people, especially with a relationship partner. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of caring, fear of the unknown, fear of experiencing pain and fear of intimacy.
All this blocks the development of trust in relations.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable . If you “lay out all the cards on the table,” to show oneself as you are, there is a chance of not accepting it from his side. But it’s better to put all the points above the “i” and survive the possible spiritual pain than let him love someone you are not. Especially if you’re going to marry him .
All these things will help build the foundation for the development of trust in relations. Yes, you might think that there is too much information here and it is difficult to digest it. And indeed it is.
Therefore, I recommend to walk through these 9 points and identify those that are really poorly represented in your relationship. Then start to gradually implement them.
At you all will turn out!
I would like you to re-read this article several times. Since the issue of trust in relations is very serious, and the amount of information provided is very voluminous.
Let’s go through the main points:
Without trust, there can not be full-fledged happy relationships. You need to decide that you understand the word “trust” correctly. It is important to find out the reasons why it’s hard for you to learn to trust men.
All pessimistic thoughts about the inability of men to build trust relationships need to be discarded. Otherwise, you risk living your life alone .
9 points in the middle of the article are necessary components of the development of trust in relations . But they are not a panacea. These are just the basic postulates that can and must be supplemented with their own observations.
Do not forget that you are not alone in a relationship. Pay attention to your partner’s attempts to improve the level of trust between you. Let him know that you see and appreciate it.
If you consciously pretend that you do not notice his efforts, it can seriously offend him and cast off trust in the relationship to the previous, lower level.
And finally: in the following material, we will discuss why trust in relations is dying out because of the actions of a man.
You will get a very honest answer to why men change.
Thank you for your time and attention.