It happens that the relationship is at an impasse.
At a dead end, from which there is only one single way out – the final break of relations. It would seem that in breakup with the guy there is nothing difficult:
it’s enough to calmly explain your position, thank for all the good and go further, towards a happier feeling
However, if your feelings have long cooled down, and the young man’s heart is still trembling with the flame of undivided love, breakup with him can turn into a long and painful torture, warmed by a sense of guilt.
Reflecting on the problem of how to breakup with a guy without offending him, first of all get rid of the thought that you are doing something wrong.
Unfortunately, breakup is an integral part of most relationships.
Your task at this stage is to put a beautiful point, after which you can keep pleasant memories of a person and, possibly, even remain friends.
Instructions for breakup with your lover are written below for your own benefits.
1. Select the time and place
Try to make it so that the breakup with the guy does not coincide with the difficult period of his life.
If the feelings of a young person are dear to you, do not upset him with unpleasant news, if you know that now he has a big blockage at work, his mother is seriously ill or the bank threatens to confiscate the car for not paying the loan.
But, at the same time, do not delay the time. The more you continue to have relationships that do not have a future, the more difficult it will be for you to remain calm.
Never talk to a guy in the presence of third parties, because it can offend him.
It’s better if such a serious conversation takes place at home or in some cozy little-frequented restaurant. It is important that the young man can comprehend your words in a relaxed atmosphere.
2. Speak the Truth
No matter how impartial the reason you decided to breakup with a guy, do not hide it.
Perhaps you met another person and loved him, maybe your partner severely restricts your freedom, or you just realized that you do not see the future with the current guy.
First, if you do not say the specific reason for your decision, the young man will be illusive about your possible return. And, secondly, having learned about the shortcomings in his behavior, a man may be able to correct them in future relationships.
3. Be decisive
Breakup is the situation in which you can not “pull the rubber.” Do not try to smooth out the sharp angles of conversation, leaving the guy an invisible hope.
It’s only in foreign series that heroes often breakup “for a while,” and then converge again for the sacramental “happy ending.” Have decided to leave – leave.
At the same time, present the information in such a way that the young person understands that your decision is balanced, considered and final.
4. Control emotions
Surely you are gnawed by a lot of unresolved grievances and reasons for criticizing a young man.
However, if you did not share your claims during the relationship, you should not do this at breakup. You see the shortcomings of your partner, and the man, by his naivety, can completely ignore them.
By criticizing the guy at breakup, you can not keep even more or less human relationships. And all the good things that once bound you, will dissolve in the bile of resentment and anger.
5. Keep the distance
After breakup, try to limit communication and contacts as much as possible.
Do not call or write the former guy first, but at the same time, if you plan to remain friends, do not ignore him. A man needs time to get used to his new position.
Perhaps, at first he will try to resume the conversation, insist on explanations and meetings.
However, if you calmly and confidently let him know that everything is over between you, gradually your connection either grows into friendship, or it breaks for ever.
How to breakup with a guy on the phone
Breaking up the relationship on the phone is not the best option.
However, it is quite acceptable if, for example, you are a long time away from each other or you understand that it is not possible to keep the emotions. To make the breakup beautiful, calling the guy, make sure that he is alone and nothing distracts him from talking.
Having started the conversation, immediately go to the main question. In order not to offend the guy, try to speak gently, but confidently.
The guy should understand the seriousness of your decision. Perhaps the news of your breakup will be a surprise for him. Give your ex-young man time. Do not try to talk quickly and put the phone down. Give him the opportunity to ask questions and express his emotions.
How to breakup with a guy on SMS
Separating via SMS is even worse than on the phone. Firstly, you would hardly like it if a young man did this to you. Secondly, such a way of breakup implies that you do not care much about a person’s feelings.
However, in some cases, for example, when a guy is too emotional and you are not sure of the adequacy of his reactions, it is better to leave it by SMS. In this case, follow the principle: “brevity is the sister of talent”. Do not write to the guy of long poems about how good he is and how difficult it was for you to make this decision.
Write simply and capaciously: “We need to breakup. Thanks for all”. Probably, having received such a message, the young man will want to understand the situation and call you or provoke a meeting.
Here you need to act only at your own discretion. If your relationship has been in the conflict phase for a long time, then there is no need for additional explanations, because the young man already understands why you left him.
If the reason for your break lies only in your feelings, and the young man sincerely tried to keep your novel, take time for a full conversation, otherwise you risk hitting a person with a serious psychological trauma.
Whichever way you choose to breakup with the man you choose, thank him for all the good that was between you.
Even if you think that the positive aspects of your relationship are overturned with negative, you were with this person for a while, so at that time you needed it.
Do not blame yourself or your already young man.
After all, breakup is just a stage that brings our meeting closer to its real destiny.