Four Reasons why Compliments make you Feel bad

In many cases, you may be had a feel of shame even when someone is giving you a great and trendy compliment.

As many people can’t get happy just by giving compliments same as them many others become sad just because of the compliments people gave to them.

Here we are going to explain why it is difficult to accept a compliment, why compliments and kind words can make you feel uncomfortable.

Accept a compliment

Most people say compliments because they want you to feel good.

But, if you are like most people, these kind words, spoken with good intention, can sometimes be difficult to hear.

Here are four reasons why it may be difficult to accept a compliment:

1. You have low self-esteem

A new study, conducted in the field of experimental social psychology, found that people with low self-esteem have the most difficulty accepting compliments. If you think that you have any significant shortcomings, or you think that you are not good enough, you may have problems with understanding how other people can say such kind things about you.


According to the results of the study, compliments in this case, most likely, will cause a negative reaction. And even worse, if the admiration comes from your romantic partner, these well-meaning words of praise can really hurt your relationship. You may think that your partner is telling a lie, which as a result can lead to a loss of confidence.

2. Your self-image does not match

Another reason why compliments can make you feel uncomfortable is that the words that you hear do not line up with how you see yourself. This is the so-called cognitive dissonance, a term used in psychology to describe inconsistencies.

Let’s assume that the employee tells you: “You are so smart. You never make mistakes in your reports. ”
If you do not perceive yourself as an intelligent, competent person, hearing these words, you may become confused. You will be in a state of only guessing whether your objective comprehension is not enough for your interlocutor or whether he is deliberately telling a lie.

Quite often, that’s why people react to compliments with a certain justification, while saying something like: “Well, I just got lucky this time.” Such a reaction can help a person relieve some of the anxiety conditions that arise when someone’s description of your personality does not seem to correspond to how you would describe yourself.

3. You are uncomfortable with high expectations

Studies show that people often prefer to set a low bar for themselves. Then, if you meet the expectations of others, they will be pleasantly surprised.

Compliment means that you will expect something more from you that will make you feel under great pressure. If your boss says, “I chose you for this project, because you always honor the deadlines,” these kind words can be quite horrifying for you.

When you feel like other people appreciate you, self-doubt can make you feel anxious. You may think that it’s only a matter of time before you disappoint someone.

4. Do you want to be modest

It’s hard to understand how to respond and accept a compliment when someone takes you with all the honors, saying “You are the best boss who ever was,” or “You have incredible talent.” The answer “Yes, I know” will certainly sound like bragging.

But for many people even a simple “thank you” can make you feel very uncomfortable. After all, boasting is not an attractive behavior.

Research connects modesty with various positive moments, beginning from the raised self-checking and exacting to itself. But compliments can sometimes make you feel a complex of superiority, and not be an elegant confirmation.

Accept compliments gracefully

The problem of “accepting a compliment” may be a symptom of a major problem. Review your self-assessment questions or edit your basic beliefs, and you will find that compliments are becoming more comfortable and comfortable.

Even if you feel awkward in accepting a compliment, your behavior should not be embarrassing. The best answer to accept a compliment is to show a little gratitude.

A simple “Thank you” is almost always appropriate. Fight with the desire to criticize yourself, but share the spotlight with others if someone has helped you in your success.

2017-09-14T09:05:05+00:00

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