“I do not know what to do next. Let’s live separately for a while, sort out ourselves and feel each other. Let’s take a pause, “- it is to this decision that some couples come running at a certain stage of dealing with problems that they can not solve by peaceful negotiations.
Misunderstanding, a quarrel over a quarrel, a feeling that there is a stranger near by – because of all this many people seem to be exhausted, do not feel the strength to continue fighting for the relationship, but they are also afraid to put the point – they hope that it is still possible to return to the circles its.
When the relationship comes to a standstill, you involuntarily ask yourself whether to reanimate feelings or disperse?
But neither solution is usually easy.
Tired of the unknown and emotional anguish, people come to the conclusion that pause is the most optimal option.
Having lived separately for a while, one can weigh the pros and cons, consider the further prospects of relations and, most importantly, understand whether you need this person, do you imagine your life without him.
However, it is worth considering the fact that often a pause is taken when they do not know how to provoke the parting. Not all people have the courage to say: “I do not love you anymore”.
What do you need to know about the pause in a relationship?
Psychologists warn that a pause is not a panacea for all ills. If you think that the problems will disappear by themselves after a month, held separately, then you are very wrong.
Your meeting will bring also a memory of why you once decided to scatter for a while. Therefore, if you now have an unsolved problem, it is better to make efforts and arrange all the points above i.
However, sometimes a pause in relations is simply necessary, if only because, being constantly next to the “irritant”, you do not have the opportunity to understand the deep psychological processes that occur exclusively in your mind.
It is in order to calm down, sensibly assess your behavior and partner’s behavior, analyze his mistakes and, perhaps, forgive them – you need a short break in the relationship.
In addition, thinking about the pause, answer yourself honestly, do not you seek in this way an excuse for parting. If you absolutely do not expect anything from these relationships, then, most likely, they should not be reanimated. It’s more honest to tell your partner directly about your feelings.
When is it worth making a break in a relationship?
1. When you stop understanding each other in trivial matters. It would seem that there is no serious problem, nobody has changed anyone, but every day you torture each other with mutual claims, arrange scandals from scratch and, having calmed down, you can not answer, because of which the fuss is.
2. If you get bored with each other. You do not know what to talk about, how interesting it is to spend time together, and any attempts to somehow diversify shared leisure fail – you begin to argue even at the stage of choosing “cinema or cafe”.
3. If you do not see the impact of your partner. You are ready to compromise, and he persistently bends his line and does not listen at all to your desires and requests. You feel offended, incomprehensible, tell him about it, but he does not seem to hear.
4. If you understand that absolutely all problems are in your head. He did not change his attitude towards you and did not change himself, but you want something different, new. Do not immediately cut from the shoulder, it is better to take a couple of weeks to think.
5. When you feel as if you live in a cage. The partner controls your every move, suspects of infidelity and is jealous of all the men in your environment. Of course, before you pause in a relationship, you should talk with your loved one, explain what you feel and frustrate his distrust. If such talks do not bring any results, it may be worthwhile to arrange a short break.
Several pause rules in the relationship
1. Never take a break without discussing it with your man. Tell him about everything that worries you, and let him know that at the moment you do not see any other way out of the situation.
2. Convince the partner that you do not leave him, that this is not parting. Agree that you just take time for reflection, but not in order to start a relationship with someone else.
3. Do not try to look at other men. Even if you understand that you want to part with your partner, do it only after the pause. Then you can start a new relationship, not earlier.
3. During the break, take yourself to something useful and interesting, fill the days with hobbies and hobbies, socializing with friends. Try as little as possible to remain alone, so as not to complete the pause solely due to the fact that you become bored. In this case, problems can remain problems.
What is your choice and how you think about this? tell us in the comments form below so we can start another talk with you all.