Some girls always choose the wrong type of men. The history of their novels reminds of a long and monotonous play, in each act of which only the names of heroes change, but events develop according to a known scenario.
Some complain about the fate that she constantly reduces them to weak men, others wonder why their next novel ends because of the betrayal of a partner, and the third has to break off relations because of the unhealthy dependencies of young people.
In all these cases, the girls unsuccessfully trying to find the answer to the question – why do I fall in love with the wrong guy?
If the new novel is surprisingly exactly similar to the previous one and, moreover, this tendency was repeated more than once, it is not difficult to guess that this, alas, is not an accident, but a regularity that has arisen because of the girl’s not entirely correct behavior.
No matter how smart, reasonable and wise the girl is, unfortunately, for some reason, she just does not see mistakes in her behavior, pushing her into the pool of another novel with the “wrong” guy.
Stop the chain of recurring events and, finally, to find happiness in love, you can only one way – figuring out the reason for choosing unsuitable men.
Why you fall in love with the wrong guy? if you don’t know than you have to read below guidance:
1. Manic desire for love
The tendency to attack the “same rake” in the relationship in most cases is due to the fact that the girls so crave for love that they are ready to turn a blind eye to the partner’s shortcomings until they become an unbearable torture.
If you do not dissemble with your own “I”, then we are already at the stage of acquaintance understand whether a happy relationship with this person is possible or not.
However, girls, tired of love failures, abandon rational judgments in favor of illusory hope, which in most cases is not justified.
2. Victim Complex
Psychologists distinguish the category of women who do not believe in the fact that they can be loved just like that. In their concept, love must be earned, earned and suffered.
Due to different circumstances, the self-esteem of these women is understated. In fact, they can be clever and beautiful, talented and strong personalities, accustomed to work hard with hard work. Subconsciously, women belonging to this type choose emotionally weak men, incapable of self-giving and love.
Having learned that nothing is in vain in life, women with low self-esteem exert a lot of effort to win the love of their chosen one. Perhaps they can actually get a reciprocal feeling.
But the problem is that the strength and quality of the feelings of women and men will be very different. And, in the end, such a union will end with another fiasco.
3. Unwillingness to get out of the comfort zone
In fact, it is easier for us all to communicate and build relationships with the type of people we are used to. For example, it so happened that the girl is always in a relationship with the merry fellow and the soul of the company, easily related to life. The girl is able to behave with representatives of this category of people, knows how to interest and attract them.
Perhaps, at the beginning of the relationship are built perfectly. However, when the more serious phase of the novel comes, it turns out that the merry humble person is very conditional on the principles of fidelity and, moreover, does not know how to make money at all.
It would seem that a girl, burned once or several times, should bypass this category of people by side, however, it turns out that charm and the ability to charm does not apply to men of another psychological makeup.
This discrepancy is explained very simply: in order to interest a serious and worthy man, he needs to correspond.
And in order to correspond to an unattainable ideal, one must analyze one’s behavior and lifestyle, eradicating unfavorable factors, that is, leaving the usual comfort zone.
4. The habit of idealizing men
Often, girls who dream of a happy relationship, subconsciously accustom themselves to turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of a man he likes, granting him non-existent qualities.
Deep down they understand the futility of their own venture, however, they believe that their dedication will help them change their partner. But in fact, it’s impossible to change a man.
If he does not know how to love by nature, does not seek to take care of the girl, does not intend to make efforts for the development of relations, the romance with such a person will turn into a game in one gates.
And, finally, the girl, finally out of strength, will grumble at fate and blame the whole guy, not realizing that if she looked at the relationship not through the prism of rose-colored glasses, she would have managed to retain the moral forces spent on the wrong Rights.
5. The habit of obeying stereotypes
Our world is subject to stereotypes. Someone thought up that a man worthy of love must achieve a certain material welfare, be gallant and courteous and, of course, in every possible way demonstrate his love for the girl.
Often, girls who want to comply with the established norms at all costs, when looking at men pay attention only to external factors – attractive appearance, the presence of a car / apartment, the ability to care, etc.
But often it turns out that behind the outwardly beautiful screen lies a completely unattractive inner world, resonating with the principles of the girl.
6. Thirst for a “forbidden fruit”
The desire to get inaccessible, unattainable and forbidden is one of the consequences of low self-esteem. Many psychologists are inclined to explain this trend with childhood unrealized dreams.
A child who so desires to possess something that parents can not afford, can subconsciously project this desire and build an adult relationship. In real life, it looks like this: a girl meets a guy who can be described in one short word – too. He is too rich, too handsome, too talented, too noticeable, etc.
The children’s complex, sitting in the depths of memory, immediately makes itself felt: the girl wants to have this guy and, as a consequence, falls in love. But her love is very superficial.
She, in principle, does not really think about the human qualities of the chosen one, their compatibility and the possibility of building harmonious relations. It is important for her to have a partner in order to satisfy her thirst for a “forbidden fruit”.
7. Primordial love
The first love leaves an imprint in our souls, laying a certain foundation in the development of all subsequent relationships. Particularly romantic nature is often looking for a prototype of its first love in all encountered men.
But the trouble is that, firstly, the first love is rarely ideal, and secondly, the qualities acceptable to the 17-year-old partner are completely unacceptable for a 30-year-old man.
However, subconsciously girls are attracted only by the entourage of the novel: the look, behavior, jokes and deeds of the new acquaintance remind them of their first love, giving them pleasant feelings and stirring up memories. Read also: Love dependence … Heard about this?
How to stop falling in love with the wrong guy?
If you realize that meeting “wrong” guy is your problem, get ready for a long and fruitful work on yourself. First, you need to analyze all the relationships that have been in your life.
Understand what exactly you did not like in men and what became the decisive factor for the severance of relations.
Secondly, draw an image of your partner. However, forget about stereotypes and youthful ideals. Since you decided to change the quality of your relationship, be guided by reason and experience.
Think about what type of men you will feel comfortable with?
What character traits should your partner have, what kind of lifestyle to lead and, most importantly, what to want from a relationship?
And, thirdly, think, what kind of woman can attract the ideal in your concept of a man?
And do you fit this woman? If you previously attracted exceptionally weak men morally, perhaps your behavior demonstrates self-sufficiency and independence, which fascinates the stronger sex, who do not want to be so.
In this case, you need to work on your natural female gentleness and weakness. And perhaps you are tired of overly strong men, who are used to subordinating and dominating, and dream of a harmonious and equal partnership. In this case, you need that men see you as a self-sufficient and self-confident person.
Awareness of one’s own mistakes is an important step towards solving the problem.
When you realize that you are worthy of true and deep love, and stop wasting your life on “wrong” guy, you will definitely meet a worthy man who will surpass your best expectations and ideals.