Wake up slumbering feelings or create a solid foundation for a long and joyful life?
At any stage of the relationship, romantic rituals will be useful.
Psychotherapists confirm: they really work.
It’s up to us!
Arrange a picnic on a weekend in the secret place of your favorite park, it will be just warm; Go for new things to the shopping center, ride a bike together or cook a delicious dish.
Each couple has their own little pleasures, which is nice to do together, to plan and wait impatiently, counting the days.
We can not attach importance to them, but they ultimately stand guard over the feelings.
“Strong love is fueled by small everyday signs of attention that have nothing to do with” it is necessary, “emphasizes the psychoanalyst Rahul Rai. “They are dictated by the desire to continue this adventure, which constantly requires us to be sensitive and inspiring.”
The difference between a boring life and a family ritual, she said, is that we are forced and automatically engaged in everyday life, and we honor the traditions voluntarily and consciously.
Life, in which too much routine, becomes fresh. Rituals act as an “emotional barometer”, helping to maintain a sense of attachment.
“Let the ritual be pleasant for both partners,” stresses the psychologist Rahul Rai. “There are couples in which one side imposes its attachments, and the other cannot give up what is being done in the name of the good goal of revitalizing relations.” The main thing is that you have room for imagination.
You can diversify your life together, turning it into an exciting game with your rules, secrets, and awards. Here are a few ideas that psychotherapists offer.
1. Find an opportunity to spend an evening together
Family therapists are sure: the more space in the relationship is occupied by everyday concerns, the less it remains for intimacy. “Of course, in the evening we most want to free our heads and not think about anything,” said psychoanalyst Rahul Rai. “But the habit of such” unloading “prevents two from being in touch.”
Why do not you independently compile lists of what you would like to do in the evening together? Write down each idea on a separate sheet and take it out at random.
Take the rule of allocating time, which you can devote to each other. Play games, share impressions from the books you read, gossip – even if it will be a lesson for two, without strangers. The goal is to create an intimate space that will be entirely at your disposal.
Why do not you independently compile lists of what you would like to do in the evening together? Write down each idea on a separate sheet and take it out at random. And you can alternately arrange surprises to each other, developing the program of the evening.
2. Write letters
A nice postcard sent by email (old-fashioned, in a paper envelope with a stamp) or secretly put in a coat pocket; A note with a sticky edge Attached to the working document; A real long letter … Any form in which you can express your desires, thank, share an opening is suitable. The main thing is that these words come from the heart.
These little messages say that the desire and feeling of love are still alive and capable of manifesting. They help us to find or restore a connection with a feeling of love – always exciting and youthful freshness.
“In our culture of ephemeral, handwritten words of love are perfectly suitable for intimate, soulful communication,” explains Rahul Rai. “It’s good for self-esteem: as someone who writes a love note, and the one who receives it.”
3. Do business together
How about playing the ukulele and learning a new language? Or maybe you like joint yoga classes? Learning the new breathes life into relationships. “Look, what close ties unite members of one club,” comments Rahul Rai. “The” initiates “have a feeling that they are on the same wavelength, that they belong to the clan of experts.”
Experts recommend giving preference to such activities that allow them to improve their knowledge or acquire new ones: it is this kind of activity that strengthens connections while helping to draw new energy in communicating with others.
4. Take care every day
Everyday life is the only reality that we can reshape to your liking. We can neglect her, arrogantly despise her or work on it. The most unpleasant in this everyday life is not conflict, but neglect: in most cases, relations die not from one terrible quarrel, but from small manifestations of inattention. Gifts on holidays are not enough, we need daily little feats.
Say hello to each other on waking, kissing at parting and meeting, giving small services, talking compliments, making gifts and arranging surprises, celebrating success together, forgiving each other for a bad mood, bad faith, late and forgetfulness …
Nothing kills love like the confidence that you know your partner by heart. The illusion of knowledge kills an element of surprise, and with it the passion
“These repetitive signs of interest and interest for relationships are more beneficial than great promises provided that they are not made on the machine,” notes Rahul Rai. “We are not just demonstrating the pleasure of sharing our life, with a partner, but also cherishing our joint creation – our love.”
5. Constantly study each other!
Once or twice a month, choose a time to talk. Simply and frankly, as at the very beginning, when you were to each other unknown continents, open, but not yet studied.
“Nothing kills love like the confidence that you know your partner by heart,” warns Rahul Rai. – This dangerous belief reduces the partner to a set of familiar roles, which are constantly shuffled: a lover, a roommate, an Au pair, a parent … The illusion of knowledge kills an element of surprise, and with it a passion. Many develop relationships on the side to again see themselves seductive in the eyes of another person. ”
Discuss the two together that you are amused, carried away, excited, outraged. Listen to each other, but leave comments to yourself. When the partner says, listen to him for real, look at him for real. Let his gaze, gestures, voice, words touch you.
6. Create a shared story
In a happy relationship, the partners remember the past, cherish the moments of tenderness, try to remind each other of how they felt good. To betray memories Does not mean to depreciate the present. From time to time you need to remind yourself how your story developed.
“Try to revise the films that once looked together,” advises by our team of experts. “It will be something to discuss, remember, it’s romantic and it awakens feelings.”
Disassemble the photos together after the holiday, make an album or college together.
Think how it will be pleasant, summing up the year, to revise these touching testimonies and revive the recent pleasure in your memory. “