Is it possible to guess in advance if a man is inclined to betrayal?
If he is unhappy with his wife, is that so?
According to statistics, 56% of men who change men say that they are happy in marriage.
They are quite satisfied with their lives and do not want to change anything, which does not prevent them from going to bed with another woman.
We collected the main facts about treason and scattered established myths.
Fact 1. Most men love their wives, even if they change
Men who change, do not cease to love their constant companions, they are no longer satisfied with the very state of relations. “Treason often occurs in the phase of so-called friendly love, when a couple lives with established habits, she has children and a common life has been built,” says American psychologist Lena Shah.
Some spheres of life are equipped, but romance begins to disappear. “We think that only women complain of the lack of romance, but it’s not enough for men,” says Dr. Shah. “They usually suffer in silence, knowing that they will not get what they want from their wives anyway.”
To avoid such a situation, often plan evening outings, do not forget to allocate time for sex and discuss dreams and hopes, not just working everyday life and the problems of children.
Fact 2. Men are more likely to change with those women who are well-known
Men do not always choose the first ladies who met them, say, in a bar, for betrayals – so most women think about them. Relations usually begin with friendships.
Statistics show that 60% of the changes happen to colleagues at work. Therefore, try to make sure that your husband feels closer to you than to a business partner.
Whenever possible, go to work together, take care of the children together and go to bed at the same time. And before going to bed, try to at least just a little fun.
Fact 3. Men change to save their marriage
“Men love their wives, but they do not know how to solve family problems, so they try to fill in the spiritual gaps outside the family,” says family therapist Sophie Kendal.
They think that another woman will help them with this, and then they will again happily live with their wife, and with their mistress, without conflicts and problems.
Fact 4. Men hate themselves after betrayal
Perhaps you think that the traitors are people without a sense of morality, but even if they like the process of treason, after that they can despise themselves for what they have done.
“A man can feel like a piece of garbage,” says psychologist John J. D”After all, he betrayed another person, whom he had to take care of, and this leaves an imprint on his psyche.”
Fact 5. Masons want more sex from their wives
When a man begins to change, he becomes hypersexual, because his sex drive after betrayal awakens, and the wife is still a person with whom to spill out the excess of sexuality is most comfortable.
If you notice such a change in your husband, watch him. When relations on the side end, it will again become the same.
Fact 6. Women change as much as men
“Psychologists say that men and women change about the same frequency. But the reasons for their betrayal are different, “says John J. D. So, women change for the sake of emotional satisfaction. The most common type of female infidelity is treason in the network, without physical contact.
To be emotionally attached to another person – already means to go beyond the boundaries of your marriage. And sex most often occurs in them by mistake, and not because of attachment.
Fact 7. A wife always knows that her husband is cheating on her
“I felt that my husband was cheating on me, but I was stopped by the inner denial of this thought. It was very strong, “admits one of the patients Sophie. ” If I took it, the pain would be too strong .
“According to psychologists, this happens with most women. All of them want to continue to live peacefully for the sake of children and at the same time to avoid humiliation and heavy draft on the soul.
Fact 8. Finding out relationships will not stop a man in the process of treason
A couple can clarify their relationship, but if a man in the process of a stormy romance on the side, his wife’s reproaches will not stop him. “Because in his life there are such positive things. He will not be affected by the home drama, “says John J. D. Marriage can even disintegrate, but it will not end until he decides that life with his wife is better than with someone else.
The key is in prevention.
Be the woman with whom he decided to once bind himself by marriage. “Women often turn from loving young brides into aching wives. Men are not attracted to this. Tell him compliments, surprise in bed and do not blame constantly for the bathroom towel thrown on the floor. ”
Fact 9. Treason can improve marriage
Is treason always the path to divorce?
Not at all. The experience of a relationship on the side can give a second wind to marriage. The man realizes with whom he still wants to spend the rest of his life, and understands that the new relationship is not as beautiful as it seemed.
But before you continue the alliance with the traitor, think twice. Self-control is not so much, and if he broke one day, perhaps a breakdown could happen again.
Fact 10. Even after the restoration of relations with his wife, a husband can miss cheating
Perhaps the husband loves his wife and very much wants to save the marriage, but he will never completely forget about his betrayal. “Men may miss the benefits of hiking on the side – fun, lack of responsibility, sex, emotions – and more often by how they felt themselves in the process, which is a much more destructive fact for family relationships,” – says Orlando.
To help again, the return of the relationship that existed between you, when your union just started.
Fact 11. The changer always knows that he is making his wife hurt
A man can realize the negativity that he brings to his wife, family and himself, but still continues to change.
This is his psychological perception of the situation. While he feels unwanted and underappreciated, his inner need to be loved and needed will win.
Fact 12. A wife is never to blame for the fact that her husband is cheating on her
Understand: if your husband is dishonest with you, it’s not your fault, no matter what people say. “When a man changes, this is his conscious choice,” Lena Shah emphasizes. “The fact that something pushed him into the arms of another woman is just an expression of speech, but not reality.” With her agree and John J. D.
He adds: “The so-called fault is not what kind of wife is, but what it lacks in it. And the fact that both spouses ignored the moment when the absence of some features became noticeable. “