Love inspires and inspires, but relationships require work. We often banal tired of them and of what is necessary to take.
How not to waste feeling of endless attempts to change and reorganize?
Handbook of Psychology relationships provide numerous tips on what to do, how to treat everything, what to expect from men and how to please them.
Besides the fact that this in itself is not easy, there is a feeling that the relationship – is the sheer stress analysis and serious efforts.
Such prospects easily frightened, better loneliness without obligation than the convict family labor.
More on the topic: How to get rid of the constant worry
Fear and love to tie the knot is now haunts not only the men who always prefer freedom.
Exhale and relax wants and women, although the issue of privacy that does not change.
Can I, being in a relationship, to be myself, to give love and receive reciprocity without fuss? We offer to take 10 steps, which resulted in the love will be easier and more fun.
1. Stop “pretend”
This simple rule will remove the tension in the dialogue, open the partners to each other from an unexpected and perhaps allow you to know better herself.
Often we say one thing and think another, do not agree, simply depict some other emotion. This is strange, especially if no one asks, and creates barriers that are hard to overcome.
2. Do not look around the pros
The paradox is that we can forgive completely immoral things and acutely perceive trifles. Partner can look at the same thing quite differently.
It will be correct to recognize that you do not like, but do not require a complete change in behavior. Each has its own characteristics, it is different from other people.
3. Do not leave the “stones of the soul”
If something (a word, deed, choice of partner) lodged in his heart and left with an unpleasant sediment, it is impossible to leave it there. Worms doubt eventually necessarily turn into monsters devouring your feelings and good relations.
Not everyone can openly ask questions like “Have you cheated on me?”, But more importantly to understand where its roots are in your thoughts. Is this your fears, or reasons, which gives satellite. Understand and sleep soundly.
4. Do not pay for their mistakes
Your transgressions, behavior that does not match the expectations of men, any mistake is an apology, but no more. For guilt is easy to play, but if compensation – not your good will, no one has the right to assume the role of judge and to impose sanctions.
If you pay too much, perhaps, to this man do not you just on the way.
5. Do not tread on
This obvious rule for some reason are not guided by it. Interfere complexes, fears and benefits of different plans.
To make concessions, to obey and to please is possible only from sincere motives. If you do not feel a moral readiness for these things, perhaps you are not ready for a union and you have to understand yourself and your goals.
Quarrel not want to, but the habit to go from an open conversation as a result will be more destructive.
6. Trust your own opinion
Not being self-sufficient, it can only be reached in co-dependent relationships, and this is a huge expenditure of energy.
If you like movies in the genre of detective, and the man they call contempt, let him stay with her and do not let that spoil your own fun.
7. Replace suspected surveillance
The first option involves fantasies, assumptions and not always pleasant. This is a huge consumption potential of intellectual and spiritual forces to jealousy , resentment, mistrust. Imagine that you’re writing a novel based on your life, but do not publish this book, but only constantly re-read and re-experiencing the events.
The second option saves power and provides a more accurate representation of reality. Furthermore, it is mobile. Suspecting you are looking for proof of negativity, watching – see the facts. Heroes are not required to be negative, their characters could change the course of action.
8. Instead of perseverance – flexibility
It is important not to confuse the tendency to always adapt to the man with the diplomatic approach and a desire to preserve their freedom. In the first case, their interests began to move you into the background, in the second – is not getting involved in the fight, outlines its territory.
Save: you are not stuffing cones of sharp angles, leaving the right to individual self and the man remains confident – because screaming and cursing those who do not know other ways.
Another paradox – the smaller the movement, the greater the costs of nerves and stress. Try to stand in one position for a long time, or dance in the same time – from what we no longer get tired?
The same is true in love. Stagnation creates tension. Move the border, check the partner on the liveliness of mind and heart, be free! Do not short-circuit and try something never done before.
10. Say goodbye to the hackneyed rules
Absolutely everything we operate that have heard, read, enjoyed it. And rarely speak, and his heart. It is better to honestly say “I’m wildly jealous of sexy blonde” and stay themselves than tense smile when he dances with the regular “Barbie” because you know that you can not make trouble because of nonsense.
We use imposed without even noticing, as it binds our person, although there are no common rules, and two identical men simply do not exist.